As the winds run around me, showing me their presence, I increase the speed of my motorcycle and look at the empty road waiting to give me a destination. As a lone traveller, I pace my way back and forth to know the real place where I belong.
I am beneath my thoughts and strive to get better, but sometimes the pain lies in the past and also in the unforeseen future. My name is Kavya and this is my story.
Like any other story, my day starts with normal work. The idea of living a monotonous life haunts me forever. But I wasn’t like this before. Like every moment of realisation, my existence started to transform to such an extent that the things I couldn’t even think of before are the very things I am doing now alone. For instance, travelling.
It all started with a promise, a promise of hope and a promise that broke hearts. I look back on all those sweet moments I spent with my beloved sister. The day we sat down and made plans to travel to her favourite destination. After thinking for a long time she comes up with the idea of being nowhere.
According to her she always wanted to be in a place where she didn’t know what was going to happen next. She was sort of an explorer unlike me who just likes sitting at the desk and looking at random files. Her mind was filled with surprises just like the one time her reality haunted us all.
One day out of nowhere she committed suicide. The pain grew higher as no one ever got to know the reason. My anger had touched the clouds as I never anticipated something like this from the beholder of my secrets. She was the genuine imposter of happiness when in reality she wasn’t happy at all.
After years of being mad at her, I decided to give life more meaning and that involved fulfilling all those weird promises I made to her.
I know she may never stick around with me physically but at least I can feel her now sitting behind on my motorcycle shouting about the speed limit and just exploring the mountain cliffs as we come down in extreme excitement.
My life left me with no choice except to move on and get done with the necessary things. When you remain too angry with life you forget to enjoy it. You forget about its beauty and the things that people see in it.
I dream a dream, of getting closer to you again but I know these harsh roads and endless skies will pass on the message of my anger and love to you.
Up until now, I was on this journey because of you but now it’s my life and my time to take over. As I explore the path, I make my own destinations. The truth is that it’s going to be hard without a companion. It’s lonely all around and I have no one to hide behind when the thundering clouds scare me. The responsibility increases massively and the path seems to take terrifying turns.
I observe everything, every tiny bit of beauty and along with that I always stay careful of my surroundings as I am left with no one to fall back on. No one, to become my backbone in times of trouble. I stay conscious of every single thing and sometimes that scares me but what’s life without some thrill?
I explore the world on the motorcycle today without knowing what the future holds for me. Are there horrors ahead or moments of pleasure? Sometimes you just have to wait and watch.
A journey I took for my sister gave me a new direction in my life. There is no guilt anymore, no anger. Just plain love and desire to see my sister which I know may never happen again. I started my life in a new way, maybe it’s time you leave behind those heavy tears and see what the unknown road brings in your life. Maybe it will come with a reason to make you smile again.
Travel like it’s a passion that needs discovery and a heart that needs closure.
Read more of my writings and let me know your views. Here are a few things you can start with-
Sometimes: A Poem that remained Hidden
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Thank you for being keen readers to a small-time writer.
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Your stories are like magic! They take me to different places. Thanks for sharing your cool stories!